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Finally.

Apr. 19th, 2015 | 01:04 am
I am: depresseddepressed
I feel: Savage Garden

It has been almost a year since I wrote something yet it feels no different. I feel very much at home- takes me back to those carefree days. I sometimes miss those days where all I worried about was finding the right guy, saving up for a trip or waiting for a mall sale to go shopping.

Fast forward. 11 years since I started this blog.

I feel depressed over the fact that I haven't really gone anywhere. I cannot understand why I'm stuck at this level. I never got to going higher up in terms of career and finances. What's the point of graduating with the highest GPA in your batch? So far it has not gotten me anywhere- nowhere near my dreams. I studied so damn hard to get that medal for my mother. I felt that she deserved it. She worked hard to get me through school and I had to return the favor with graduating with honors. Thankfully I did.

I feel shitty with nothing to be proud of. My classmates who didn't really study or took school seriously have surpassed me. Sometimes I think that maybe I should have gotten that Management course in Ateneo. It would have made everyone else happier. I would have gotten a far better job, more savings and grander opportunities. But that was not the case.

I feel that I made the wrong career decisions. I have wasted around 5 years of whining, bickering and slacking off- thinking I was better off doing something else. I feel so bad. I feel like crap.

I just watched Love Rosie and it made me think hard of going after my dreams- which brings me to asking "what are my dreams?"

I used to fancy the thought of working in the States, designing products and being famous and successful. I dreamt of having more than enough to travel the world and treat my family.

Shit happens.

I don't really know what to do at this point. I need a big chunk of funds this coming months and I'm not exatly adding any.

I finally had this eureka moment earlier. I want to open a bike shop here in the area. There aren't any decent bike shops so far- nor any bike shops at all. There are a lot of bikers here and I have this gut feel it will work. I just need someone who believes in me and my idea. I don't exactly have the capital for it.

I usually have these bright ideas. Just ideas. They never come to life because I don't have the funds for it. Always. Shitty life as they say.

I just can't stop dreaming. I just cannot stop trying. I want to prove that I can do it, that I can set up a successful business and not jump from one shit to the other. I'm tired of running around asking for help and failing entirely. I cannot take it anymore.

One of those guys in class who rarely brought anything in class or as much wrote down any notes is now a Manager at one of the country's top companies. How come life led me here? I always think of this 'higher' purpose willed by Jess. I'm holding on to my faith, to Him.

I just need that thing that will spark and start everything I have always dreamed of. Please come soon. My brain is fried beyond black and my heart is hanging by a sheer line of hope.

Please please.

May tomorrow be it.

Please?

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PFT.

May. 5th, 2014 | 05:37 pm
I am: worriedworried

I am so annoyed. Is this anger? I have for one been known to be as "someone who never gets angry." Maybe today is a first. I cannot really tell.

They say faith is what keeps you going. How long am I supposed to hold on when all I see is nothing? I am worried beyond words. I am holding on to His promise for now.

Day 302

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First for Twenty Fourteen

Apr. 25th, 2014 | 01:29 pm

So much for writing on a daily basis. This is my first entry for 2014. I cannot just let this ten year old blog go. It has been my go to secret spot when things get all crazy.

Fast forward to today.

I am married and jobless. Yes. Finally quit my job with no back up or new job waiting for me. I just quit because I am dead tired of working for someone else. Not that I hate my bosses. They are good people and I owe them a whole lot. There just comes a point in your life when you feel you're too old to be working for others and there's no other possibility for you to go higher in the corporate ladder. Let's face it. I will never own the company I was working for nor be one of the executives. Family owned businesses are just that.

My only next option is to build my own business. With around 8 years of rackets and bazaar what nots, I am finally doing it. I cannot be more excited and just elated over the fact that I am on my way to having my own business. It's actually a partnership between me and my SIL but it's a start.

It's a good start.

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Breathe.

Sep. 9th, 2013 | 07:59 pm

I could not sleep. Please stop. I don't know what to do. I feel choked up. I need help.

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Loving Thirty One

Mar. 7th, 2013 | 08:45 am

It's my last year on the calendar and life if crazier than ever. I can't wait. Seven days.

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Oh Joy!

Feb. 1st, 2013 | 08:14 am

Hall One Love

So much creativity. At thirty, I'm going back to my first love: design. No matter how many times I turn my back, design will always be number one. Thanks to my meeting with Reine- things will be changing.

http://ohjoy.blogs.com/my_weblog/

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Dreamy

Jan. 30th, 2013 | 01:01 pm

Seven measly entries in two thousand twelve. I feel bad.

I miss this outlet. Back in the day, I used to write almost everyday, raving and ranting like a giddy high school girl. I guess it was better. I spoke less and wrote more. This year, I'll give it another try. Lunch breaks are all to boring around the office. With my new playlists set, I think there's a big chance I can make things happen.

Yada yada.

I stumbled upon an events place-- I think it seems perfect. I'm getting giddy just looking at the photos. Dreamy.

Yada yada.

I just feel happy with how things are going now. Well, it's not exactly ideal but we are getting there. I'm happy that in just three months, so much has grown. Thank you Bruce Almighty.

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Life Status

Oct. 4th, 2012 | 08:03 am

I'm currently on hold. Pending. Life is taking a backseat for this year or until "it" is over. I can't wait for Christmas. It's going to be a fresh start. My faith is strong.

--
We have all accepted you are gone but in that dream, you came to visit us and you were truly happy. It was a good one. Please visit us in our dreams again soon- just like our usual Sundays out where we ate, shopped and just had fun. Miss you Tina.

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Rumble Mumble

Aug. 15th, 2012 | 08:03 am
I am: coldcold

Here we go again. it's that time of the year where I'm all abuzz over many things to manage and decide on. At 30, I guess, this is my life already. A part of me has accepted the fact that this is my life's yearly routine. A part of me still hopes for something new.

I am back to working for Amici, where things are pretty much the same- x10. Needless to say, it's still the same Amici land where the grass is a bit greener but just that.

I know there's more and I have never lost it- the faith, hope and love. Our new angel will guide us. Thanks Tins. Miss you so.

Thanks to my boys for keeping me sane.
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Tina Tweets.

Aug. 15th, 2012 | 07:57 am
I am: sadsad

--
There was an SLK at the office yesterday- reminded me of you. Don't worry, mas maangas pa rin yung SLK mo. I miss you, Tina. ♥

--
Tina, saw a GTR at the Circuit Showdown. Gwapo. You would have loved it! Miss you and our car talks. ♥

--
Sweet ni Rey. He made he sure to get a Savage Garden CD. Missing you Tina. Hope you're happy.

--
I saw fireworks the other day. "Ang baduy, walang sinabi sa fireworks ni Tina." Miss you Tina. ♥

--
I close my eyes and listen to Savage Garden- I'm imagining all of us inside your ride. I can't seem to let go. Miss you Tina.

--
I saw the new Crv- and I remembered you. Missing you Tina.

--
State of denial. Sometimes I feel you're just there and we'll see you on the next Sunday hang out. ♥

--
I just remembered your wicked laugh- those times we made fun of our cousins. Missing you Tina. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.♥

--
I will forever miss you Tina- plus those Stitch shopping sprees, car talks, Savage Garden music. Thanks so much for everything. We love you.

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